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2007-07-31 - 3:51 p.m.

people keep telling me i should make a diary on this site or that site because its so much better. but i dont want to start fresh. i like my memories in one place not scattered everywhere. its harder to remember the locations of the memories then.

i have work experience with sue at vpg. i think its because she pities me which is irritating but i really have no other choice.

i have a head ache again. this one is really pissing me off. i want to cut my head open take my brain out and find out why the fuck it is being so frustrating. and i was going to actually do some work as well. excuses excuses.

why am i dreading going to the venom zoo on thursday when i enjoy it? i think they hate me. i'm too quiet. i'm always too quiet.

wouldn't it be good to delude yourself and think there is a god that exists and is looking after me and all that crap? yes. no. i hate religion. i hate their blind faith. i hate that they think their better because they believe in a bunch of illogical crap. i hate their rules to make everyone conform. i hate their hatred of everything thats different. not all religions. ha. buddhism rocks. i've rambled this a hundred times before and i probably will ramble it a trillion more times.

god i'm tired. i only slept ten fucking hours.

i got drunk on monday. last monday. it was good. very good. except for the fact no one else was a drunk as me which isn't fair because i'm never the drunkest person. i'm normally the sober one. i don't think i embarrassed myself too much though. i changed my opinions about a few things. its hard acting the counciller when ur wasted. fucked if i know how those sentences were related but i'm being random. and wondering whether i should write about alesha and how i think she is a good person who has been invisible and never the best person to speak to so she craves attention and she does anything she can to get it. and she normally chooses bad ways. and she was crying and i felt sorry for her but i couldn't be too much on her side because she had pissed of zoe. and zoe had full rights to be pissed off too coz alesha smashed her thing. and i can understand why zoe doesn't feel much sympathy for her sister anymore because alesha does the same shit again and again. and i get sick of it and i don't live with her. and she lies. to make herself sound better. which i can totally relate to because i used to do that. and i guess i ended up talking about alesha didn't i. do i ever shut up. no no i dont. i like sorting my thoughts out on here. it helps.

i will leave now. my head is pounding and the colours form behind my eyes.

Do you see the rainbows???

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