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2004-12-24 - 11:26 p.m.

I'm fuckin all alone on christmas eve. Therez no one to talk to. Everyone hates me. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Christmas is so commercialized. A lot of people I know don't look forward to christmas coz they hate all the rushing around and cooking and buying everyone expensive presentz. And then on xmas day the family getz together and a lot of my family hatez each other so they'll all be putting an act on, i'll be listening to music and trying to ignore the world and ppl will be saying outside 'why doesn't ambre participate, why is she alwayz alone, why is she such a fuckin freak' The only person anything like me is jay but he'll probly hang with the rest of the family. Ppl say I've ruined christmas because i refuse to participate in most of it. I don't even want any fuckin presentz. And why should i spend all my money on presentz for them when they probly won't even like it and will just give me one of them fake smilez and a thank u. But I did buy them thingz. Cheap thingz but itz good enough.

If you get what you want, u can no longer want it.

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