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2004-11-13 - 12:14 a.m.

ppl say i won't kill myself. they say because i've been sayin it 4 so long that i would've done it by now...that i don't have the guts.
i will.
But then again as aimee sayz: they should say you have courage for keeping on living coz its suicide thatz the easy way out. or sumthing like that.

i want to know why ppl hate me so much just because of what i look like
is it really that bad
does it hurt them that much that they have to say all that shit to me.
I wish ppl could see beyond my looks and actually talk to me. Theres a nice person inside there somewhere behind all the anger and hate and pain. Part of me is normal.
But most of the world is shallow. And people aren't going to change just coz i ask them 2.
I'll end up in a mental institution. I have that thing inside of me. Itz not just depression. I've always been weird. Hope people come and visit me when i'm locked in my padded cell.

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