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2005-01-11 - 11:01 p.m.

now now little people. don't worri i'm alive. figured breathing for a little longer won't hurt.

i know how i can do it now. i know how i can go back there and have it not affect me. I can make myself totally cold. Don't let anything in. Not even my friendz. Becoz they are my weakness becoz when i'm with friendz i'm happi when i'm happi i'm vulnerable. Never did i think that being a loner would be the answer. But it is. Itz my way out. If i barely exist on that level of consciousness that letz me become fucked up then how can i hurt. If I am nothing how can they make me feel sumthing.

Easy way out again. But I'm sick of hurting.

So I am alive but I am not. I am breathing but not living. I am looking but never seeing.

Emptiness is so pure.

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