2005-05-21 - 2:34 a.m.
can i stop going outside now?
please
i want to hide away.
i don't want them to look at me ever again. just let them forget.
http://www.f-a-t.diaryland.com
i go to that diary and it makes me cry every time coz some of the ppl there feel exactly like me. And it hurts so bad to know they wanna hide to.
i don't remember when i started realli caring. i don't remember when it started always being in the back of my mind. but it is. and i hate it. but i am nothing and i am weak weak weak.
i don't think there ever was a time before. i think it was always there.
i wanna lock myself in a cupboard and starve to death.
ironic huh.
i want to be anyone but this girl.
please god let me wake up as someone else and then i can actually look in the mirror.
i've cried so much. my head is pounding and my eyes are swollen.
look at me. who the fuck could luv me ever.
i think when i finish whatever i've started i am going to lock myself away and just become that lonely face in the window.
i think i might just disappear
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