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2004-12-18 - 10:32 p.m.

i hate it when people make all my problemz seem so trivial. when they tell me how they went through so much more so i have no right to be sad. fuck them! they have no idea. my cousin said that to me. he said he went thru so much. i know he did. i understand that. but i went thru hell in my mind 2 even if the circumstances weren't as bad. i'm not self-centred. i alwayz think about other people. itz what messes me up so much coz i hate to hurt them. i try and be perfect for everyone i know. i don't want to say anything bad to them. i don't even have the fuckin courage to stand up for myself when people are sayin shit about me. Can't hurt their feelingz, can i? But itz alright for them to torture me. i hate me so much itz incredible. i think u can tell by the way i alwayz look either angry or sad. neva happy. thatz forbidden, isn't it.

'as soon as you're born, they make u feel small. by giving u nothing instead of it all.'

- marilyn manson, working class hero

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