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2005-05-16 - 9:03 p.m.

Why I hate my friends:

why i hate izzabelle:

coz shes not afraid to fall in love and i won't go anywhere near it.
coz shes not afraid to be herself when i'm busy making up a pretend me
coz shes not afraid to speak her mind while i'm just trying to please
coz shes not afraid to show emotion when i'm just holding it all in.
coz shes not shy and i'm hiding in the shadows.
coz she can just start talking to people and she seems to know everyone where i only have my friends and thats it. i'm hostile to everyone else.
coz no one can change who she is where i'm a different person for everyone.

Why I hate Aimee:

coz i'm so jealous of her.
coz she just says whats on her mind to anyone around when i never can.
coz just when i get up the courage to eventually say something she makes me feel like an idiot.
coz shes aimee and shes amazing.
coz she has the courage to fight back all the time when i just shrink away.
coz shes not afraid to look different in a world full of sheep.
coz she doesn't have to analyse every word she says before it comes out of her mouth.
coz when you meet aimee you know your just meeting her not some pretence.
coz she so confident and i'm so shy.

Why I hate them both:

because they're both beautiful and i'm ugly. And because when they're hurting people care and no one does when I am.

Why I hate Zoe:

coz she doesn't care about anyone but herself
coz i know she could be someone popular and loved but she chooses not to be
coz shes beautiful.
coz i feel like i don't even know her.
coz i've never seen her cry when shes seen me cry lots.
coz shes strong and i'm weak.
coz shes everything i want to be.
coz shes happy and i'm sad.
coz she gives up because people have never encouraged her.
coz shes my best friend and i would do anything for her

What I hate about them all:
I hate that i would die for them. I hate that they make me happy and they are the only things keeping me alive. I hate that when i'm with them the sadness goes away. I hate that i tell them the truth all the time now. I hate that if any of them got hurt I'd cry. I hate it that they make me feel emotion. I hate that i need them. I hate that i could never give them up. I hate them coz I don't hate them.

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