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2005-01-10 - 12:28 a.m.

itz amazing how happiness can seem so uplifting but the darkness is alwayz there even if u don't know it. and then when the happiness fades..the darkness takez over. Like an old friend. Itz almost calming. New friendz can leave u for nothing and leave u so happiness but when the darkness comes, u almost welcome it because it bringz a new depth to ur sadness. Does that even make sense. I don't know. But itz true. Being happi is just a pretend feeling for me. It leavez so suddenly and i am left feeling vulnerable becoz i drove my darkness away for a little while and i have to wait for it to come back.

So from now on, i keeping my darkness as close to me as i can.

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