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2004-12-22 - 8:52 p.m.

i am such a boring person. the same thingz just go thru my head again and again and again. probly why a lot of my entries are repetitive. coz thatz all i think of.

i'm sick of everything being fake around me. nothingz what i thought it woz. every single person has something to hide that they can't tell anyone. i hate secrets. they eat at me. itz so hard for me not to tell other people but i manage. therez this big stupid fucked up thing in my life at the moment. it woz all my fault and i know i'm overreacting and shit but u know it getz 2 me how ppl don't think b4 they act and they make everyone lie for them. i've lied to ppl i haven't lied to b4 just to protect 2 ppl. And i have no idea why coz neither of them talk to me anymore. I didn't want to start lying again. I've just stopped. Just started being truthful. Now I've lied to my mother so many timez and other people. And I'm still covering for them and i don't even know whatz happening and I just want to die again. I'm back into the whole fully depressed thing. I can't stop crying. The only time I do stop is when i have friendz over and even then i'm sad coz i know itz going to end.
i can't take this. therez too much pressure. kill me.

The onli noise I hear is the screaming in my head.

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