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2005-09-30 - 2:39 p.m.

aimee has returned. yay. i have been relatively happy. existing every day. and managing to smile quite alot.

self-harming and smoking is up though. i should quit one. that would make things easier. one poisons insides one hurts outside. so technically which one is worse. i really can't be fucked analysing it right now.

human overdosed on me and i had to escort to hospital at 3:50 am in the morning. was boring and sleepy like.

returned to school. i sit here now, supposed to be studying romeo and juliet or something similar.


i represent everything people don't want in a human. i'm ugly and i am abnormal. i am somewhat goth but all i do is dress in black. i don't particularly care for the whole breathing fad. i only feel sadness and numbness. i wish i could just yell at them all. what if there was like a thing on your head which told everyone else in the world your emotion. they could monitor when you wanted to die.

hughes annoys the shit out of me. freaking scapegoat like aimee now. frog couldn't be bothered turning up for the past 2 days. i am going to a movie marathon tonight. really its just an excuse to not sleep. sleep is a curse on us all.

my website rules. yeah woot. conspiracies and other such fun things.

i can see my reflection in the computer and i really hate it. i really hate everything about me but i won't rant about that again. i think i am sounding sort of positive today. for some reason that makes me feel worse. shut the hell up you stupid sheep your taste in music sucks.

aimee put wikid curtains up in my house. bring the darkness in.
rebecca is existing next to me right now. i had a touch of human generousity and gave her a birthday like present. she tells me to write word like entities about her.

i am a positive human. i believe in obliviousness. stop living in your bubble of oblivion.

i like blood cookies.

you tree entity see breath forming on panes of glass like walls. dead eyes observing such words being printed on artificial paper and erased often enough to create weirdness. accept denial and smile for depression darling because that is all you will have in life. exist only as a gelatinous life form. so what are you doing today. me. me i am existing. pretending i have friends that care about me. deluding myself that i am as good as the rest of the world when i am nothing. oh honey sweetie you are something. you are a person. being a person doesn't necessarily mean much at all. it means i have the character traits of every single human. i need materialistic objects to survive in my mundane life.
so what. stuff is good. stuff makes me happy like. good for you. stuff makes me realise just how shallow i am. you! you think you are shallow. what about the rest of the world.

my words stop here because they fade from existance. if there is no more print will you keep reading.

hallucinate my visions and breathe my soul. dying flowers burning into my skin.

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