2010-02-23 - 1:33 p.m.
Back at uni already. Time is going so fast. Too fast. One second I had two months off and then it was a week and then I had to get up at six in the morning the next day. It freaks me out. I turn 20 this year. That's probably at least a quarter of my life gone. The thought of getting old terrifies me. I don't feel that I have accomplished much at all. I haven't skydived or travelled or been in love and I'm running out of time! Argh! Anyway I didn't come to write today to ramble about how shit scared I am of everything. I found some old poems I wrote years ago and I wanted to record them somewhere before they disappear. They're not genius or even really good, but they remind me of the depressive era and when I was a better writer too because I can't write like that at all.
OUTSIDE THOUGHTS
A movement in the corner
No one seems to see
The dark and dangerous soul there
The other half of me
It watches me sit lonely
And hates me most of all
It stands by my shoulder
Waiting for me to fall
Its hand is dead and cold
Its claws hold on so tight
I feel myself giving in
So I put up a fight
I kick, I scream, I hit
I attack until its dead
I look around in triumph
And realise I'm strapped in bed
A nurse comes over to me
With a needle for the pain
I killed the ultimate enemy
And they think I went insane.
GODLIKE DELUSIONS
Out of the darkness I appear
I am God, do not fear
I can kill all without a thought
In a second, more die than in any battle fought
You're worms, parasites, nothing to me
Deluded into thinking you are free
But I will rule you all till your final day
Don't try and run, you'll never get away.
I KNOW
I know one person stands alone
Surrounded by hundreds
I know their thoughts
I know their pain
I watch them melt into surroundings
Yet stand out
I watch people stare at them
And notice no blood
Believing their strained smiles
I hear them screaming for someone to care
Their hands passing through countless bodies
I know their names, I know their memories
Every high and every low
I feel how close they are to death
How it runs through their veins
I see the tears, the goodbyes they can never say
I watch them fall to the ground, dead
And the oblivious people still do not see the darkness inside
I know because I fly
I am dead
I was that person
Ta da! Thats them! Great quality...no. But had meaning to me or entertained me.
Mwah. See you soon you pretty little thing.
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