2005-11-11 - 2:16 p.m.
haven't contributed in a while. can't access the internet at home because the stupid thing is impeded and pointless. i shall burn it and disintegrate it. Block exams coming up. i feel relatively confident. i am up to date. i am only worried about english really because those exams always seem so daunting to me. i have been writing on note pad at my house and if i can i will add it.
aimee went home sick today with her little boyfriend colin. to go get stoned again. annoys the shit out of me. christ. just coz you can't do something doesn't mean you should avoid it. but i am not going to start on that because i am such a stupidly opinionated person.
i am going to a wedding tomorrow. family. stupid. they hate me. aimee might come. zoe might come. i don't particularly care. Last weekend i threw something of a party. Rory came, rebecca came and so did aimee (of course, she lives with me) kate and izzy. We had like fuckin cruisers, wine, some banana flavoured thing, pink things, absinth and tequila and bec got so blasted she started destroying my house and declaring her eternal love for rory. kate and aimee started kissing and shit because they were so out of it and most of the night was a disaster. later on it go better though..the really drunk people fell asleep. thank fuck.
i have been happy but now i started to feel sad again. partly coz i reckon it sucks that colin is leaving but that is not all of it. like yeah he is a good friend but not really a close friend. not enough to become depressed over. maybe its just the tiny pinprick that lets all the water in. wish i could draw. hate kirsty gordon. stupid girl. needs to stop being a little kid and grow in to the human world.
i just got an a on something so i am in a relatively good mood.
next year i'm taking really hard subjects so i will have to work my butt off.
this entry must be so boring. i am just rambling but it is for me not for anyone else. why talk as if anyone will read this because they probably won't.
i'm fully addicted to smoking. bad bad. so many. terrible nicotine stain.
i feel tired. life is frustrating me and people are moving around me, making me nervous that they are reading over my shoulder.
gay pride. woooot. people say empty words all the time. as if they care. they just don't want to seem mean or heartless. but maybe that is better. i am tired of rambling.
so farewell world. the words are fading from your memory now and you will go on to live your life forgetting you ever spent a couple of minutes reading a few words on a mindless screen.
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