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2004-11-15 - 8:56 p.m.

my cousin told me about this guy that he met in jail.

The guy was perfectly alright with hitting his her a split lip and a black eye and shit. But one day when he was kicking her in the face, he accidently broke her arm. He told my cousin that he felt so guilty about that. U know to him, hitting her in the face was alright..but not breaking her arm. Whatz the difference? He was still hurting her real bad. I wonder how she felt. Maybe shez glad that hez in jail now. She should be..but u know what people are like. She might have thought she loved him.

I'm so confused about my life at the moment. I want to die, i know that but I don't want to die. Itz fucked. How can i feel 2 total opposite thingz at once. One day, when i'm meant to be walking to skool, i'm gonna go to the pipe. The pipe is this place, like totally isolated. No one goes there. They're too scared. I'm gonna go there, and i'm gonna slit my wrists and watch the water turn red and I'm gonna die there. And no one will know. Zoe will be mad at me for not turning up at skool, my mother will be mad at me for wagging and they will have no idea. Thatz what I want. Thatz all I want.

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