2004-12-01 - 7:32 p.m.
I hate fighting with friendz. It fuckz me up. I want to stop fighting 5 secondz after I've started. Me and Zoe have fightz but they're not over anything big and they don't last for long. Shannon and I have fought twice over 8 yearz, I haven't known Izz and Aimee long enough to fight but Renee. She getz to me real bad. Fuckin hell. I want to hate her but I can't. We had a fight last year, we didn't talk for 6 monthz. This time itz been about 10 monthz. She totally ignorez my existance. As if we were never friendz. As if she never even knew me. That hurtz. And she has been the cause for so many of the timez I've cried. And I would still become her friend again. Even after her not talking to me for so long. I didn't know our friendship meant so much to me but obviously it did. It was my fault the fight started in the first place, coz I did call her a lot of thingz and if I had never said all that, most of the other stuff wouldn't have happened. Because when I said stuff to her, I wasn't thinking and I said thingz about her friendz to and they are some of the people that made my life hell. And then they're friendz joined in and so on. Nearly everything branched off from that one event. I know I have to sort it out with her one day, because that is a big issue on my mind. But I did try once and she threw it back in my face. What the fuck am I meant to do? Why do I alwayz fuck thingz up?
Losing a good friend is like losing a piece of yourself.