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2004-12-30 - 11:10 p.m.

Itz gone. I can't find it. I can't find the part of me that used to be obliviously happi. I think i crushed it. I think all the darkness covered it like a tumour that is spreading.

How can ppl have so much confidence. I don't think i ever have. Maybe a little, when i woz much younger.

I can barely type. All my fingerz are bleeding becoz i bite the skin off. Itz kinda a habit i developed instead of biting my actual nailz. Hurtz like hell. I like it.

Reclusive. I reckon thatz what i'm going to become. I don't like it. I want to be out on the streetz scaring the shit out of ppl but I don't think i can do it 4 much longer. As i've said...i'm so paranoid. I hate being around other ppl. If I ever go over a friendz house..which is veri rarely..i refuse to eat and i barely talk. I seriously have some issues.

Does depression only exist becoz of what humanity has become?

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