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2004-12-10 - 2:33 a.m.

why do i alwayz fuck up evry1z life.
I should be put in a special room with no contact with other humanz. i deserve to die. I shouldn't be on this earth. thingz are fucked up enough. I'm just making them worse.

I want to scream and yell and tear my hair out but I can't. I have to be nice little miss ambre who alwayz supportz the ppl around her after she has made their lives a living hell. I don't deserve friendz at all.

I can't keep on living this life. I can't. I can't be screaming one second and smiling the next. I can't be sad and act happi. I can't want to kill someone and give them a hug. Itz fucking me up.

I HAVE TO STOP RUINING PPLZ LIVEZ. STOP IT AMBRE STOP IT. ha if that worked everything would have been perfect yearz ago. But no, thingz are so bad now I don't think they are going to work out this time. I need to talk to someone but there is noone.

i have to die

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