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2004-11-22 - 8:54 p.m.

can u ever totally lose a part of urself. can u ever totally get over depression, or will it stay with me forever and affect everything i do and just when i think itz gone, will it come back worse then ever.

a while ago, i couldn't help but lie all the time. I've basically stopped now...if i do lie, i tell the person soon after. I told nearly everyone that i lied to the truth. I thought they would all hate me but they understood. sometimes people can be really incredible. I lied because I didn't want to be the person I was and because I didn't want the life i had so I created worldz that didn't exist.
Problem is, now I know someone else who is doing that. I know they are, because I did the same. Shes saying stuff like I did and it comes out at the same timez. And I already know she can lie like i did. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to fuck thingz up and hurt a lot of people like I did. But itz not as if I can stop her.

I started cutting myself again. Even though itz bad, it does make me feel better. I know I said it didn't, but it does. they're not deep cutz, just enough to bleed for a while. I like to bleed. Itz beautiful.

Existance does not necessarily mean a life.

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