2005-08-29 - 9:55 p.m.
do you believe in the nobility of suicide?
do you believe in the nobility of suicide?
do you believe in the nobility of suicide?
answer me you nothing. you can't take me over and hide from the answers. and why are you taking me over. i thought we had freedom but its all lies. why is it all lies. i think i'm trapped deep in lies. they try to comfort me but their words are glass and they break as soon as their spoken.
i cried for...christ..i don't know how many hours. it just all came out. like it did the night before and the night before that. i'm losing my sleep but whenever i close my eyes to find it again i find i'm just crying. it won't stop.
life doesn't promise a bed of roses or white knights field of emotion i'm trapped in darkness why me save me to win this twisted war inside me won't justify the pain life doesn't promise a bed of roses. lightning strikes the pages keep on turning. help me to be strong. i'm floating in a sea of strange believers where do i belong. they paint you a picture of perfect nowhere blue skies. within every lie theres a web of comfort for them not me. to win this twisted war inside me won't justify the pain. they paint you a picture of perfect nowhere. lightning strikes the pages keep on turning help me to be strong. i'm floating in a sea of strange believers where do i belong where do we go from here i wish i could disappear i'm a lonely soul so far from home. lightning strikes the pages keep on turning. help me help me i'm floating in a sea of strange believers and where do i i said lightning strikes i said lightning strikes floating in a sea of strange believers and where do i belong.
get away from me. what do you want. why does it only last 5 seconds. couldn't it last a year or two or the rest of my life. but then you would get used to it. is it really that bad to get used to something though. yes. it makes you happy and ordinary. it makes you believe you are something more than nothing. don't forget you are nothing. i never forget. its always there. i thought i was more for a while. you were lying to yourself. was i? yes. it was deceit. you mean nothing and your presence isn't cared about. don't say that. they want me around. they need me as much as i need them. ha. now you know you're lying to yourself. you are a needy attention-seeking pathetic person. is that supposed to hurt me? does it? i can deny what i am. i can pretend happiness. you can never pretend happiness forever. the pain spills out one day. you can never be free.
you will always be mine.
i'm owned by depression
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